Zombieland

There's not really a lot to say about this movie other then the fact that it was alright and everyone seems to think its great, when it isn't, its just alright. So in an attempt to rationalize something that isn't even really worth putting any thought into, I'm going to try and figure out why I don't like this movie as much as everyone else. while reviewing it. Awesome.

So the movie is about there being zombies around and, well, that's pretty much the story. Zombies are real. That's cool, you can tell that from the title, so no surprise, and usually you don't need story in a zombie movie so no big deal. Then you meet the main character who is played by that guy from the movie Adventureland, which this is not a sequel to, and who is not Michael Cera. He gives us his Zombieland rules, which are made up of helpful tips on what not to do in the zombie apocalypse. He also talks about whats its like to live in "Zombieland" and how "Zombieland" came to be and general uses the word "Zombieland" a lot, which is cute, I guess...

I mean, its not a bad movie. Its actually a pretty well made movie, its just hard to care about a movie that tries so hard.

Here's a picture from the movie that I found on the internet

Though zombie movies don't have to have great stories, since I can't really think of one that actually does, they do have to have zombies in them. I mean yeah, we got a few scene every once in a while where Woody Harrison's character kills one or two zombies in what are supposed to be really badass ways, but the movie is mostly 4 characters saying and doing goofy things while there are supposed to be zombies around. Its more like a road trip movie, but it doesn't even feel like that, because there isn't any wacky things that happen to them as they travel, because everyone's dead. They just kinda chill in each scene as the movie moves on. And although there are a few funny moments, none of them are laugh out loud as much as they are those moment where you go 'Oh you!" and the movie just shrugs with a big smile on its face. Its all very enjoyable, but I don't know why all the people in the theater were going so crazy over this stuff. I mean these guys were wetting their pants over how amazingly awesome this shit was, and all I saw was Woody Harrison hitting fat people in a grocery store. And Woody Harrison's character was probably the worst part of the movie.

Yeah, it's cool when you have a badass character that does cool things when there are zombies around, but Woody's character was so forced that it was kinda distracting. They have him being half way between a redneck that likes nascar and being a normal guy who wants twinkies, with none of it feeling like it actually works. And there's also his "Nut up, or shut up" catch phrase thing that doesn't work as either a real catch phrase or parody of a action movie catch phrase, and is probably the reason I gave this a 6 and not a 7. Its time to nut up or shut up guys. Nut up or shut up. They even put it on the poster, seriously, go back up to the top of the review and look at it.

Now I'm just throwing in random funny pictures from my hard drive. Its a sign of a tree.

Though I think these complaints should look pointless to anyone that likes the movie, I'm not really trying to sway anyone's opinion. I don't really have a problem with people liking this movie, or even thinking its fucking amazing, because if you like it, then you like it. There's no reason you should listen to anyone else. But I feel like this movie was liked because people wanted to like it more then they actually liked it. Its missing any atmosphere, story, or characters that usually make these movie fun or interesting and just kinda gives the audience some safe entertainment in its place. I heard that the idea was originally developed as a television show, which makes a lot of sense to me because it feels like a TV show. Like one you'd see on NBC. A nice sitcom with cute zombie scenarios where the characters try to get closer to that theme park they are trying to get to for no reason, without anyone dying or the status qua changing. I still don't know why they were trying to get there. That's kinda stupid. It would have been a better movie if it were simply Dawn of the Dead in Disney Land instead of a mall. That would have been sweet.

6 out of 10