Boondock Saints 2- All Saints Day 5/10

So back in 1999 a movie known as the Boondock Saints was released strait to video. It was written and directed by one Troy Duffy, a formal bartender turned filmmaker with no actual experience in making films, and after a few years it became a cult hit, mostly with college student, noticeably the ones that like to pretend they are Irish on St. paddy's day. I saw the movie back in what I would have to guess was either 2001 or 2002, before the movie was over hyped as the best movie ever made, and I loved it. I liked the story, I liked the characters, and although flawed, I liked the direction, especially given the fact that this guy was a complete amateur to the industry. I could go on about Duffy's overnight success, but you could also just look it up instead of being lazy. or watch the documentary Overnight, which is actually a pretty boring movie.

So I really liked the first film, and over the years as I seen more and more people come to like it, and hype it up, I've come to associate the movie with a certain type of person, which I'll just say is not the type of person I consider myself to be. you know, stupid people. Not that the movie makes you stupid for liking it, just that it tends to attract really stupid people to it. Still on the other side I see snobs that are unable to overlook some small flaws in what is an otherwise very watchable and enjoyable movie. So you have the idiots that like it, and the film faggots that can't understand the hype behind it. It makes the movie a pain in the ass to talk about, so I'll stop talking about it.

The director liked the name so much he named his band the same fucking thing.

After 10 years the sequel, long rumored to be in the making, has finally come out and... its pretty underwhelming.

The movie takes place some 8 years after the first, if I remember correctly, where we find the brothers and their father, who have taken their prayer from the first movie quite literately, living as shepherds in Ireland. The thing I liked about the first movie was that it ended with a climax that works for the movie, but ends with a felling that things are just getting started. It feels like the story is just an intro for the characters, like this is how the saints first got started, and it ends with a promise of things escalating. Then we find out that they just ran back to Ireland to hide out, which pretty much killed my enthusiasm for the story. What follows is what I would consider to be the most unbalanced movie I've seen in a long time.

The true sequel to the Boondock Saints is when Sean Patrick Flanery played an angel called Veritas in: Veritas!

The movie itself is more or less a collection of remixed scenes from the first movie. If you remember the scene from the first movie where the brothers bumble around in the vents before accidentally falling in and killing a room full of Russian mobsters, then be prepared to see that scene redone 3 other times, but with slight differences. In fact the movie is more or less Duffy taking that scene from the first movie and using it as a madlib for the scenes in this one. Instead of falling through a the ceiling, they pop out of a wooden crate being driven around by their goofy Mexican buddy, a remixed version of their goofy Italian buddy Rocko from the first one, as everything goes wrong and they have to creatively deal with Asian gangsters. Or have them jump off of skafalding to surprise a room full of mobsters, but oh no, something goes wrong, and they... have to jump off of skafalding... or maybe they were suppose to take it down and shoot through the window. I don't remember. the point is that they come up with stupid ideas, and then they go wrong, and then we are treated to supposed "action scenes" where the two brothers stand around with both handing pumping out bullets into stupid gangsters that can't seem to shoot two brothers who are standing around. Theres also a new FBI agent, remixed version of Defoe's character from the first one (She puts ear plugs in to concentrate instead of putting in head phones and listening to classical music) as she explains what happened while we see the brothers doing it,  just like the scene in the first movie. she even walks though the scene in full cowgirl getup, which seemed a lot more forced then funny to me.

All blonds must look the same to me, because I guess she was in both Rambo and Punisher: Warzone, and I still feel like I've never seen her before.

I mean, one of the things I liked about the first one was that the "seeing the aftermath first and finding out what happened later" really worked, because first we have some dead bandaged Russian mobsters with pieces of a toilet around, or a room full of dead guys and a hole in the ceiling, some dead guys in a weird strip club place, and the entrance of the father character, which is mistaken for being six men. All of these scenes are interesting and have cool details that make them work. all the new scenes in the second movie lack this, and it makes them feel like a Chinese knockoffs.

This brings me to a theory I had way back when I found out about the first movie. A theory I had when I first heard that Duffy had no experience in film making and at one point was attached to Harvy Weinstien to have the movie produced. I had a theory that Duffy had a cool idea, and that professional help was brought in to develop the idea into a movie. That Duffy's script was treated by writers that knew what they were doing, and that when Duffy and Weinstien had a falling out, the script had already had the work done to it and Troy just took it, found some other filmmakers that could help him make the movie, and made it. Because there is nothing in the second movie that seems to look like it was written by the guy that wrote the first movie. Yeah there might be other reasons, like there was a lot of time between them, he might have had beginners luck, or he just forgot what it was that inspired him the first time, but yeah, its just a theory. the second movie just feels like when a kid has his older brother help him with a school project, and since the older brother knows what he's doing, the project turns out well. Then when the younger brother, felling confident from the success of the first project, goes in for round two, he looks back and just copies what he did on the first project, but it doesn't work this time since the one that made the first project so good is no longer involved.

The worst part of the movie is how unwatchable it is because everyone acts like a cartoon character. Clifton Collins Jr. plays a Mexican guy that cries a lot and says stupid shit the whole movie. The three detectives from the first movie really play up the fact that the movie has a fan following by winking at the camera and saying stupid shit the whole movie. And even Rocko from the first movie stops by in a scene about how gay society is or something like that. Even the mobsters that are after the brothers act like they came out of an Adam Sandler movie. Some of the characters were a little over the top in the first movie, but it feels too forced here, and becomes distracting after only 10 minutes.

Romeo "The Mexican Goofball" spends the whole movie trying to think of a cool catchphrase and ultimately comes up with "I LOVE Piñatas!"

Though the scenes with the brothers seem like rehash, and the rest of the characters are annoying, the father character, played by Scottish comedian Billy Connolly, best know for playing Billy Bones in Muppet Treasure Island, the best pirate movie ever, steals the movie with every scene he's in. In fact I feel like every scene that involved his character was very interesting, especially in contrast to the rest of the movie. The story itself very much revolves around his character, though he's not in it as much as he should be, and we are treated to Godfather II type flash backs every once in a while that tells the story of how he got to be such a badass. There's a scene that combines Russian roulette with that Mexican stand off "point your guns at each other" type action movie cliche that is far and away the coolest scene in any action movie I've seen in a while, let alone a movie that's more or less boring rehash from a movie that was never original to begin with. Its actually that one scene, and the father character that keeps the movie from being terrible in my mind. It also what makes the movie so unbalanced.

In the end I'd say the movie does a good job of dividing its audience further, since I'm sure the fans of the first one, who tend to be idiots, will like this movie, and the jerkoff snobs that dislike number 1 will very much dislike number 2. Its more of the same, in the worst way, and in ultimately a disappointment after all these years of waiting. Though to be completely honest, it's exactly what I was expecting. They should have just made an animated series.

5 out of 10

Video Vanguard- 10 Awesome Gun fights: Heroic Bloodshed

So I noticed that I rarely watch new movies lately, which doesn't leave me a lot to review, so I figured I would start reviewing older movies that I actually like and I thought it would be better to do something like this. Showing the scenes from movies that make me love them, instead of just talking about them like a smartass. So first up is awesome gun fights

Heroic Bloodshed Edition

Guys in suits shooting each other. with doves.. everywhere.

The dictionary doesn't define Heroic Bloodshed, mostly because its a sub-genre and not a word, but if it did I think it would define it as: shoot, shoot, jump through glass.

Wikipedia has a definition for it, so go look it up there. I'm not your mother.

Also known as Hong Kong Blood Opera, the theme of this particular genre deals with the dramatic lives of criminals, and sometimes policemen, and the brotherhood and betrayal that drives them. and violence. Its really more about violence. Like an endless number of guys in suits being gunned down by guys in trench coats. I've also heard it referred to as Bullet Ballet, but yeah, you get the point.

Doves!

The start of the genre is credited to John Woo, and being made up mostly of John Woo's and Ringo Lam's work in Hong Kong, although there are plenty of examples that go back before Woo. I also think a case could be made for American movies like Michael Mann's Heat and Collateral, and Tony Scott's True Romance and the end shootout of Beverly Hills Cop II, but the only people who even care about this sub-genre tend to be purest, so fuck them.

10.  A Better Tomorrow.
First up is the movie that started it all. released in 1986, this movie started the trend that would later develop into the Heroic Bloodshed genre. It was directed by John Woo and stars Chow Yun Fat. Both of these men would go on to define the genre, working mostly together. You'll see a lot of Chow Yun Fat in this list. Woo put forth most of the conventions that would later define it. The story deals with two brothers, one a cop, and the other a honorable gangster who's kind heart leads to his own downfall. The story is actually pretty boring, and the movie has pacing issues up the butt, but this movie was the genesis of the genre, so here it is. This scene happens in the middle of the movie. Even though there's a pretty big gun fight at the end, its not really that good, and I feel that the innovation of this scene is what set Woo apart from the other Hong Kong directors that were making similar movies at the time.



9. Royal Warriors
This movie came out the same year as A Better Tomorrow, and is a good example of what other directors were doing while Woo was getting all the credit. Though it doesn't have Woo's style, it definitely has a better gun fight. The movie was influenced, I'm guessing quite a lot, by Jackie Chan's Police Story(1985), which is one of the best action movies ever (though it doesnt have any good gun fights, so not on the list) and you can see how they take the martial arts action up a notch while trying to put more gunplay in. It stars Henry Sanada, my favorite Japanese actor, a student of Sonny Chiba, the street fighter himself. Its about the three main characters who are cops that stop a plane hijacking at the start of the movie. Henry Sanada's family is killed by the friends of the hijackers,  so he stays in Hong Kong to get revenge. The rest of the movie is martial arts, very much like Jackie Chan, but this scene is sweet.



8. Flamming brothers
I don't know a lot about this movie, since I never watched the whole thing, but the end fight is pretty cool. I was going to post the shootout from Full Contact and write about Ringo Lam, but the only asshole that has the video up has embedded disabled, so watch it here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dn56rHCcwM
this one has Chow Yun Fat in is, so here you go, another example of shit other directors were doing. I'm taking it out as soon as i find something better.



7. Gungrave
Though this is an anime, it has some good action in it, and has some pretty obvious Heroic Bloodshed influence. The story is about Beyond the Grave, once known as Brandon Heat, who alongside his friend Harry "Broody Hally" MacDowel, became a member of a super powerful crime syndicate. Half way through the story he's betrayed by Harry and killed. He comes back through Sci-fi voodoo and the anime changes from being a Blood Opera to being super action Anime monster fighting, which is cool but completely different from the first half of the series. In this scene Grave fights Bunji (a character strait out of a Kinji Fukasaku movie), who used to be his friend and subordinate. Bunji's pretty badass, and the scene is bittersweet on account of two friends having to fight each other.




6. Hitman (Cantract Killer, King of Killers)
This is the Jet Li movie where he plays a hitman, not the shitty movie based off the video games (which are great games and very Blood Opera in style). This movie has a pretty cool story as it starts out with a rich Japanese business man, who I think was like in the Japanese army in WWII, who is killed by the "King of Killers." He tells us that there is a bounty on whoever would try to kill him, which is like a million dollars or something, and soon after, his family puts together this shit where hitmen from all over come to find and hunt down the "King of Killers." In this scene Jet Li, who is one of those hitmen with a heart, confronts the rich dude's grandson, who's decided to keep the money for himself. Then the detective, played by Simon Yam (my favorite Hong Kong actor ever) shows up and turns out to be the King of Killers himself. Its an awesome movie. the audio cuts out halfway though but whatever.



5. The Killer
Keeping with the hitman with a heart theme, heres the movie that fans tend to love the most, John Woo's the Killer. considered the most icon movie of the Heroic Bloodshed genre, its actually one of my least favorite movies of Woo. Its the first time Woo uses his iconic "Doves up the butt" theme, and its also the first time that he throws out innovation and goes for body count. Its not a cool as A Better Tomorrow 2, and doesn't have the "OMG" scale of Hard-boiled. its not bad, but I never liked it that much, and its pretty hyped. This isn't even the best shootout in the movie, but because its considered the shootout to end all shootout by the assholes that don't know what they're talking about, I put up the end shootout in the church.



4. Cowboy Bebop
One of my favorite animes ever, this series has the ability to mix in everything that's cool. including Blood Opera. Though most of the episodes are stand alone, this one starts off a storyline that shows up later on. Though the end fight is really awesome, I don't want to ruin it for anyone that hasn't seen the show, and this one is just as good. it was almost impossible to find one that wasn't a goddamned anime music video. I hate that shit.



3. A Bittersweat Life
This is a awesome movie from Korea. It came out right when Korea was starting to show everyone what they were made of, blending everything great about Japanese and Hong Kong cinema, without most of the flaws. It came out in 2005, which is when I think I saw it, and I was blown away. The atmosphere and story are just really well done. I hate to ruin the ending to this great movie, because you should really see the whole thing, but it hasn't been released here in the US, despite the fact that crap like The Host was released and hyped like crazy. It may one day be released, but whatever, heres the ending. its one of my favorites ever. I have a bootleg dvd if anyone cares. but if it seems at all interesting to you, try to see the whole thing.



2. Hard-Boiled
The best John Woo movie ever, this movie is the holy grail of gun fights. Because thats what the movie is, one long gun battle. Released in 1992, this is the combination of everything Woo had been working on in Hong Kong. It was his farewell before moving off to Hollywood to make garbage. Where most of his other movies were stupid dramas with cool action thrown in, this movie is actually watchable, mostly because its like 80% of just guys shooting each other. Because there are so many fights, i thought I would put my favorite, a long take from the middle of the hour long hospital gun battle.



1. A Better Tomorrow II
Although Hard-Boiled is far and away Woo's best movie, the sequel to his first smash hit has his best gun fight. and it is the best gun fight. ever. This is the gun fight that I love more then any other. The fight sums up everything that Heroic Bloodshed is. Guys in suit with guns. Honor and betrayal. Blood everywhere. and it has extra bonuses like surprise samurai swords, and a huge explosion. In fact the inclusion of a katana has always been one of my favorite elements in these kinds of movies. We see it in Hitman too. The only thing its missing is the trademark "Doves" that Woo is known for, but in all honesty, he only put them in the end fight of the Killer, and then decided it would be his "thing" when we went to Hollywood and used them again in Face/off and Mission Impossible 2. they could have been in his other movies, but I've never seen the Paycheck or Windtalkers, so who cares. They're not in any of his good movies, so fuck doves.



I've seriously seen most of these scenes a million times, besides the Flamming Brothers one (I'm taking that one out) and there are a ton of scenes I just couldn't find on youtube.  for the hell of it, here are some other good ones that arn't really heroic bloodshed.







So there you go, my gift to anyone that likes action as much as me.